When all you want to do is smile

Je suis Anne.

Je trouve la liberté.



If only they would understand.

Pero no tienen ningún idea.

We danced Viennese waltz through fountains of water. So nameless. Silhouettes against a brightened sky. You are the stars my pretty friends. Whilst you laughed and smiled I took out my camera and asked for a photo. And you were ready with practiced smiles. I asked you to say your last goodbyes. No, not to me. To yourselves.

You cannot lose something you've never had. I left my home long before he came. He held my hand and gave my flight.

The Super Tasty Mega Snack

Eating instant noodles seems like such a writer thing to do. To me anyway.

They're Tandoori Chicken flavoured - even more writer-like. It seems like the kind of flavour a writer would get excited over after having the plain 'chicken' or 'vegetables' for so long. Such an exotic flavour: Tandooorrriii chicken (emphasis placed on the last part of the word makes it become that 'tingling exotic').

I must say though, I don't quite like the aftertaste. There's something almost disturbing about it.

I like to pretend I could be a writer - not even pretend that I am. No that's much too far for me - the most I probably would ever have in common with a writer is the fact that we both eat instant noodles - and even then - I'm sure they've up-marketed to frozen meals by now.

If I was a writer I would...write about all sorts of things? I wonder if all writers drink coffee...maybe some like the tea version. I wonder if their choice of coffee or tea or maybe some hard core plain milk all correlate to the type of stories they write. These are definately the characteristics of a half glass before nine milk drinker. No, I quite disagree - it must have been a coffee addict turned green tea naturalist - look at the syntax in this paragraph...

I like the smell of coffee, though I won't drink it. Coffee smell makes me feel safe and warm and surrounded by love in the most pathetically sounding way gosh I hope this ramble throws you off the sappy soundingness of that last thing I said that I won't recall due to the fact that my efforts are being aimed at you forgetting this sentence and I know I'm not making it any better but I had to chuck in a little something or rather or rather you would try hard to keep going with the sentence but it isn't really going anywhere, but look there it goes - perhaps it is indeed marching on into the wilderness of a blank page...what will come next nobody knows!

So. Coffee. Yes I quite like the smell. Wouldn't drink it though. Makes me all twitchy and anxious and paranoid. Constantly fearful that I may combust with no given notice.

I don't like it when other people drink a lot of coffee. This reminds me of old coffee smell. I think that's dirty. Like dirty underwear. In a 'it-needs-to-go-through-the-washing-machine' kinda way not a 'we-bought-these-knickers-when-mum-and-dad-weren't-watching' kinda way.

It's nice when people have new coffee with fresh beans. I like to smell it. I often ask people if I can smell their drinks.

I don't like it when people drink a lot of coffee - if they don't brush their teeth a lot. I'm a bit anal when it comes to clean teeth. It's the tea as well. And I suppose in some ways the chocolate - lovers of the stain-friendly (things that cause stain variety) should be aware of the effects on their teeth and so ensure that they only drink or consume things when they know they will have a toothbrush handy in the not so distant future. The sooner it is removed the better.

I like brushing my teeth. I like having showers too. I always feel so nice and clean afterwards. Not just physically but emotionally too. I feel like once I have a shower, my hair is clean and my teeth are brushed I am ready for anything I may face in that day. All this talk of brushing teeth makes me feel like doing that right now...I may or I may not. Who knows? Certainly not you. You could trust me and believe that I did if I say I did, which I havn't yet, but still might because I have plenty of rambling left inside of me.

Was that a writer's threat? No. It musn't of being a writer's threat if I'm not a writer. Perhaps it was a 'typists' threat. Funny how I can claim to be a 'typing-person' but not a writer. I'm sure their work is just as difficult and is just the same a perfected art.

I really must get on with my story.

When people ask me why I don't like it, I really can't explain it. It's like this Tandoori chicken after taste (is Tandoori a place..? like Mexican flavoured is..? - wow that sounds really ignorant). I could try to explain that this after taste tastes like metal. Like blood metal and I find it unpleasant. And you could agree or not agree that that taste would be nice or not. But I guess it wouldn't really be the same taste that you'd be tasting had you been tasting the exact same thing. Simply because you have a different tasting background.

So even though I might not like the taste you may not agree with me that it tastes that way.

So then you might tell me to find a way to fix it.

So then I'd say I'll brush my teeth. You may or may not then agree that brushing teeth could help and it would be said in such a way that it will seem like the most obvious thing to do. But you won't understand and I'd never say how much I brush my teeth, so you won't know I've already tried.